Siguro it would be easier if i just don't give a damn as to whatever people might view this blog. Afterall, this is just me and no one else... I believe that i can't move forward unless i give up being this self conscious... I will make this blog my diary from now on... Yes, this is truly a window to me. I am thinking of writing a story. Sana naman ma publish. I just can't go into details for now. Mahirap na at baka madale ako ng plagiarism... I hope I get this thing rolling by next year. Procrastination is really horrible.. Procrastination plus nervousness makes a very powerful pair, so it is hard, but not impossible to overcome...

THE RIGHT NOT TO BE ABUSED

This is something I picked up on the web a long time ago, but then it still applies. Read on and think.

Abusers entice victims. Most victims are attracted to abusers because they don’t present themselves as such. An abuser would not say, “Hello Mate, I am an abuser. Would you like to be my next victim?” To say that abusers are not aware of their intentions is like saying that Kuya Germs, at the age of 75, still has a sexual identity crisis. Anyway....

Being an abuser is not a diagnosis or a psychological disorder, but a behavioral profile. It may mean a symptom of a deeper mental disease like bipolar disorder or of a mere conduct disorder or simply of being a jerk! Abusers can smell a potential victim from a distance the way a lion can sense its prey across the miles. Victims are often vulnerable: in need, lost, weak, disorganized, confused, and lonely. Now, you see why the Philippines attract abusive politicians?

While there is no single personality profile that fits perfectly to all perpetrators of a particular crime, criminologists and personality psychologists will tell you that there is a number of common factors that are typical of those who commit particular crimes. This is the concept that criminal profiling is founded upon.

Spotting an abuser is as simple as opening your eyes --

to the obvious,

and not so obvious, signs.

Instant Display of Caring is what you should worry about! There are people who are generous souls who offer their help to strangers. But the abuser’s distinct quality is in the subtle intrusion into your inner sanctum, into your heart and soul, where they demand access.

I am highlighting some alarm signals so that you can avoid falling into the web:

1. First and foremost abusers are excellent actors. It makes no difference what gender the abusive personality is, their primary skill is to emulate normal behavior in order to disguise their own condition. Male abusers are often extremely charming and come off as "Mr. Nice Guy". How do you assess if they are acting? It is difficult but it is best to pull the bull by the horn. Ask them squarely, “Why are you so nice to me?” If they are rattled, there’s your clue.

2. Abusers make you feel important. While abusive behavior is about control and manipulation of victims, the pre-abuse ritual is VIP-treatment that makes the victim feel like a king or a queen or a fairy. Yet, they always claim that they don’t have OTHER intentions. (That is your alarm signal.)

3. Abusers make you feel indebted. They will sense your needs and offer to address them. They feign real concern about your well-being. They will play up the "sensitive guy" role. It doesn’t matter whether it’s giving you a simple umbrella (ela ela ela) or access to high society, the point is you feel that your needs are their priority.

4. Abusers will get you to feel sorry for them. They will use sob-stories of childhood abuse or trauma, lost friends or the death of relatives. They want you to feel that they can identify with your tragedy.

5. Abusers are fond of making difficult promises. The clue is this: they make you feel that ONLY they and they ALONE can make it happen. That creates an invitation to dependency. But if they say, “I don’t have much but I can offer this to you until you can find another help.” That is your genuine article there.

At the risk of sounding like a pseudo-psychologist, I assert that the best way of avoiding Abuser is to stop acting or feeling like a victim. Build your inner strength. Find your resources.

Inner strength is like a sign that makes the abuser read; BACK OFF!